I am lying in bed wondering when the next feed will be. It is usually around this time so it feels almost pointless to go to sleep before he wakes. It's in these moments I dare to let my thoughts loose. The ones I have been too busy all day with my baby to listen to. It's in these moments I hold back the tears and try to push the welling grief down. I am led right next to my husband, he is sleeping, and although I could just put my hand out and touch him - he feels further away than ever. I am lying here knowing I am lonelier than ever. My baby is asleep in the adjoining room, he has a cold and I can hear his nose whistling as he sleeps soundly. In that room is my whole heart, my reason for going on, my reason for living. I have never had many friends, I came from a military family so we moved so many times friendships were fleeting and even in my adult life I have also remained nomadic! Maybe it's a learnt behaviour, not holding onto friendships because I always le
My little boy was 6 months old when we finally got a call to say that we had a space at a special pool that specialises in baby swimming and sensory. I was so excited to embark on this new adventure with my baby! After I had bought him his swimming nappies and the special requirement over nappy I dug out my old swimsuit! I realised with horror that my swimming costume didn’t fit my post baby body! I did what all mums do! I made do, feeling a little uncomfortable and embarrassed I quickly scooted into the pool in the hope all eyes would be on the giggling splashing babies! I promised myself I would lose the baby weight and it would be fine but that is not a quick solution and frankly being a mum has done nothing for my waistline. So when I was offered the opportunity to review a product from UK Swimwear it was like my prayers had been answered! As I browsed the extensive designer swimwear collection I was spoilt for choice! But the costume I chose came in the shape of the Oceanus